Or as a normal person would say it . . .

In other words . . .

Don't fall into the same traps as these writers!

As any good copywriter will tell you, nothing’s more essential than knowing your audience.

The unfinished, upside-down, wrong-way-round F clef in "Guitar", I can just about live with.

They should have stuck with the copywriter who came up with "Spray & Wipe".

The one thing you can say about corporate types is that they’re not commitmentphobes. In fact, it seems that every other company is committed to something.

Are they looking for a chemist? A mathematician? A professional cruciverbalist?

I know you want to give your business the best possible chance, but please don't resort to describing it in the clichéd, exaggerated terms that every one else out there seems to want to use.

A reader forwarded the following copy to me, hoping I could explain to him what the company responsible for it actually did. They lost me at “turnkey” – can anyone else help?

Everyone seems to hate the word solutions, but marketers still can't help wheeling it out at any opportunity - as these three recent arrivals in my inbox show.

You! Yes, you! You want a celebrity body, don't you?

Can you guess what it is yet?

How about “Happy holidays”?

Colleague. What does the word mean to you? Not ten years ago, but now.

Management briefs internal comms.

Meritocracy.

Inspiring your staff.

Management consultancy.

Crisis management.