"Advise" and "revert": two words to avoid in your emails

Request, please. When you’re emailing me, please don't use the words “advise” and “revert”. Nothing wrong with those words, you may say. True enough. If, that is, they’re used correctly.

But when people tell me they’ll “advise” me of progress on a project, or ask me to “advise” them of my telephone number, I have to resist the urge to scream.

At what point in such an exchange will any actual advice be given? What’s wrong with the correct word “tell”? Are you implying that a quick conversation won't be enough to get the information across? That one of us (me) is so thick that everything needs spelling out v-e-r-y s-l-o-w-l-y?

Similarly, whenever someone says they’ll “revert” tomorrow, I desperately want to ask: “Revert to what? To your true self as an unprofessional layabout who sits in front of the telly all day?”.

What they mean, of course, is “get back to you” or “reply”, which are clearly far too prosaic for your average executive.

Funny, I keep forgetting that getting a word wrong in corporate life is a sign of cleverness and dynamism. Elsewhere it’s a sign of illiteracy. Just so you know.