Here’s everything we’ve written so far about gobbledygook

Fedspeak, otherwise known as “purposeful obfuscation”

Thursday, October 7th, 2010

I’ve been working with several teams of economists lately and it’s got me wondering where they learn to write like that. If you’re lucky enough to have encountered anything penned by an economist, you’ll be familiar with their style: a sort of faux academic-ese in which opacity is deemed an acceptable way to hedge one’s argument. (more…)

Gobbledygook of the week

Monday, July 12th, 2010

Just rediscovered this wonderful piece of text in my file marked “Bad Writing”. If I recall correctly, it’s from a magazine that my local council sent to all the residents in the borough.

“Better information exchange mechanisms will be implemented and cross borough working encouraged in order to ensure better coordination of security activities, such as security patrolling and the effective collation of information relating to crime and any potential security threats to the area.”

In other words . . .

“We will work together to tackle crime.”

How not to write a job advert

Tuesday, July 28th, 2009

A reader forwarded the following job advert to me. I believe it to be genuine, so if you’re interested, let me know and I’ll put you in touch with him.

Reporting directly to the CEO, and functioning as critical member of the global senior leadership team, the MD-Sales, Europe (MDSE) will assume a key leadership/transformational role in the organization. He/she will directly manage, upgrade and continue to build out/enhance a European sales team (provide leadership, direction, coaching, mentoring, sales discipline, team building etc.). Individual will, also, educate and train European staff members (sales and delivery/operations) to embrace and execute against an evolving, transformational shift in go-to-market strategy. Acting as the Company’s external thought leader, spokesperson and evangelist for the European community, the MDSE will clearly and inspirationally articulate and promote the Company’s innovative vision and messaging in order to build awareness and ongoing traction in the marketplace.

I’m so glad this a job that I’m singularly unqualified to do. (more…)