Editor required!

We spotted a wonderful job advert on Linked In today, in which a UK household name says it’s looking for a senior online editor. Judging by the typos, missing words, rambling 56-word sentences and impenetrable corporate jargon in the ad itself, the firm’s need is great indeed.

Apparently, 34 people have already applied for the chance to “define key taxonomy and contextual in-line journey content across all key touch points of the customer lifecycle”.

Perhaps, being curious editorial types they just wanted to find out what that actually means – and why it’s all so “key”.

Or maybe they were attracted by the prospect of a job that comes with its very own stately home. For surely that’s what’s meant by “ensuring that content is consistently written in a simple, clear, customer-friendly manor”?

Enjoy!

The role holder is responsible for establishing, leading and maintaining the editorial tone and defining key taxonomy and contextual in-line journey content across all key touch points of the customer lifecycle for [UK Household Name] online, acting as a content gatekeeper and continually working to track and improve the online customer experience. Inclusive but not limited to: [UK Household Name].Com product information, outbound customer communications, newsletters, social media, campaigns, FAQs, presentations, demo scripts.

Two keys requirements are to act as a shared resource across [UK Household Name], to aggregate and re-purpose created content across all appropriate online channels to make our content work much harder, and to ensure that online customer journeys are optimal by defining clear taxonomy and content used to drive online self-serve and journey conversion rates.

The role holder will define and implement content governance processes across all online channels and raise the quality and relevance of ‘input’ from stake holders, supporting and creating a culture of online excellence. This will include raising the profile of content and the benefits and importance of getting it right.

The role holder will ensure that all content is delivered to a consistently high standard. They will identify forthcoming content needs, ensuring internal resources and quality checks are in place so all content is delivered, reviewed, and deployed on time and to a sufficiently high standard. This will include creating templates and helping define process. The role holder will ensure that the [UK Household Name] Brand Values and [UK Household Name] Voice are reflected consistently throughout [UK Household Name] online, ensuring that content is consistently written in a simple, clear, customer-friendly manor.

The role focuses on creating and maintaining a consistent high-quality editorial tone for our customers in line with business requirements, giving the customer clear, compelling reasons for both interacting with [UK Household Name] online helping to drive adoption.

The role will also include driving clear and logical taxonomy and nomenclature definitions for the corporate brand website and internal websites.

10 Responses to “Editor required!”

  1. jestyn says:

    Sounds like the BBC…

  2. Dave says:

    I read it – and lost the will to live.

  3. Cathy Cleary says:

    Maybe this was originally written in a language other than English then translated by dictionary! Did they post a photo of the manor? (Thanks, Doris & Bertie – you are the best!)

  4. Presumably the ed’s first job will be to rewrite the ad into something a human being can understand. I wish them well.

    You’ve done your best to put a jolly face on it, Clare, but it’s not funny, though, is it? I find it both depressing and infuriating.

    Please tell us the UK Household Name and I’ll boycott them immediately. It won’t make a blind bit of difference, but it might make me feel better and give me something else to bore people with at dinner parties.

  5. Dunstan says:

    Is this real, or was it a slow day at dorisandbertie towers? Strikes me as a Friday afternoon prank.

  6. Dunstan says:

    Oh. It’s real. I found it. Shame on [UK Household Name].

  7. Michael says:

    ‘ensuring that content is consistently written in a simple, clear, customer-friendly manor.’

    If you can understand the ad you’ve proved you can’t do this.

  8. I saw the ad on Linkedin and tried Google Translate, but it didn’t really help. Corporate Bollocks isn’t one of the supported languages as yet.

    At least they hyphenated ‘re-purpose’, whatever re-purposing means.

  9. Dunstan says:

    …and it’s gone. Hope they found someone good, who could truly match up to the demands of the post.

  10. Liat says:

    HAHAHAHAHAHA! Thanks for the wonderful laugh.

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