Archive for May, 2010

Now, even your cleaner is using corpspeak

Friday, May 14th, 2010

These days, even cleaning the loo offers no escape from corporate jargon. This company doesn’t just make bleach, it “delivers” all sorts of corporate clichés, such as “innovation”, “long-term sustainabillity” (short-term sustainability being what, I wonder?), and “commitment“.

spray&wipe

They should have stuck with the copywriter who came up with “Spray & Wipe”.

How committed are you?

Tuesday, May 11th, 2010

The one thing you can say about corporate types is that they’re not commitmentphobes.

In fact, it seems that every other company is committed to something – whether it’s quality, excellence, innovation, success or, in the case of PepsiCo, “Performance with a Purpose”.

What’s clever about the “C” word is that it’s a pledge about where you’d like to be, not a statement of where you are. To the delight of your Legal & Compliance team, it has an element of postponement that gets you off the hook from actually being what you claim to be.

Actually, the commitment cliché has become such a staple of the corporate lexicon that I don’t think people really know they’re doing it. I urge you to think twice next time you’re tempted to pledge your to commitment to some spurious corporate value.

Below are my top three offenders – do you recognise your company here?

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