Marketing segmentation: how not to do it

You! Yes, you! You want a celebrity body, don’t you?

celeb_body

Look at that gorgeous girl above – isn’t that a body that screams POWER!!
celeb_back

What’s that? You’re over 55? Oh, I’m sorry, we’ve got a different leaflet for you. Here, take this one:
oldie_cover
Yes, yes, I know most women under the age of 30 would kill for Helen Mirren’s abs, but this leaflet’s much more suited to someone open quotes young at heart close quotes.

We really want you to know that we’re prepared to embrace you into our community. Especially someone as ladylike/gentlemanly as you.

Look, we’ve even gone so far as to crack open the big friendly hand-writing font from our folder marked “patronising community engagement ideas”.

See that old girl on the front – it changed her life (what little she’s got left of it, of course).

Not convinced? Read on:
oldie_inside1
Social interaction – imagine that! After all, being an unfit old crone really chips away at your confidence, doesn’t it? Especially when all your friends have died!

There’s more! In fact, it deserves another friendly font and lots of exclamation marks!!!

oldie_inside2

Everything all right, dear? I SAID, EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT DEAR?

WHAT’S THAT? HELEN MIRREN, YOU SAY? YES, SHE’S A NICE YOUNG LADY, ISN’T SHE?

5 Responses to “Marketing segmentation: how not to do it”

  1. smfifteen says:

    Ooh, yes, I’d love a “celeb body”, please (because all celebs look great, and all non-celebs don’t, right?). Specifically, I’d like to have Elizabeth Taylor’s body…or, perhaps, Orson Welles. Can the Power Plate fix it for me?

  2. Steevill says:

    Priceless. However, I feel the senior ladies and gents leaflet is lacking in one line of copy, that’s bound to reassure the target audience…
    “Aides on hand to wipe up after any “accidents” due to over-exertion!”

  3. LOL! You’ve really got some cutting insight here, and you’re absolutely right that these brochures are some great examples of what not to do.

    BTW, I found your blog through comments you posted on Lori Widmer’s blog (which I just started following).

  4. Jane says:

    Hysterical. This blog is my new favourite read. Now where are my dainty glasses to see the ‘submit’ button?

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